| Tim Vine | |
|---|---|
 |
|
| Born | 4 March 1967 Cheam, Surrey |
| Medium | Stand-up comedy, television |
| Nationality | British |
| Website | www.timvine.com |
Tim Vine (born March 4, 1967 in Cheam, Surrey) is an English actor and stand-up comedian. Events 51 - Nero, later to become Roman Emperor, is given the title Princeps iuventutis (head of the youth Year 1967 ( MCMLXVII) was a Common year starting on Sunday (link will display full calendar of the 1967 Gregorian calendar. Cheam is a large suburban village close to Sutton in the London Borough of Sutton, England. Surrey is a county in the South East of England and is one of the Home Counties. Stand-up comedy is a style of comedy where the performer speaks directly to the audience with the absence of the theatrical " Fourth wall " Television ( TV) is a widely used Telecommunication medium for sending ( Broadcasting) and receiving moving Images, either monochromatic Nationality is a relationship between a Person and their State of Origin, Culture, association Affiliation and/or Loyalty Events 51 - Nero, later to become Roman Emperor, is given the title Princeps iuventutis (head of the youth Year 1967 ( MCMLXVII) was a Common year starting on Sunday (link will display full calendar of the 1967 Gregorian calendar. Cheam is a large suburban village close to Sutton in the London Borough of Sutton, England. Surrey is a county in the South East of England and is one of the Home Counties. England is a Country which is part of the United Kingdom. Its inhabitants account for more than 83% of the total UK population whilst its mainland An actor, actress, player or thespian (see terminology) is a person who Acts in a Dramatic production and who works Stand-up comedy is a style of comedy where the performer speaks directly to the audience with the absence of the theatrical " Fourth wall " He is the brother of Jeremy Vine, the British television journalist and presenter on BBC Radio 2. Jeremy Vine (born May 17, 1965, Epsom, Surrey) is a British current affairs Presenter for Radio A journalist (also called a newspaperman) is a person who practices Journalism, the gathering and dissemination of information about current events trends His stand-up act consists primarily of a series of quick-fire one-liners and puns. A one-liner is a Joke that is delivered in a single line Many comedians have adopted this comedic method in their act A pun (or paronomasia) is a Phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding Words for humorous or Rhetorical On 7 October 2004 Vine broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. Events 3761 BC - The epoch (origin of the modern Hebrew calendar ( Proleptic Julian calendar) "MMIV" redirects here For the Modest Mouse album see " Baron von Bullshit Rides Again " Guinness World Records, known until 2000 as The Guinness Book of Records (and in previous U See also Mathematics of humor A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. Each joke told by Vine had to get a laugh from the paying audience to count towards the record. Brooklyn Book Festival crowd by David Shankbonejpg|thumb|An audience at the Brooklyn Book Festival in New York City. He held the record until May 2005. Vine has taken his comedy act on a tour of the United Kingdom, most recently in his February 2006 tour entitled "Current Puns". The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, commonly known as the United Kingdom, the UK or Britain,is a Sovereign state located His new tour "Punslinger" with all brand new material started on April 28th 2008 and will take Tim all around the UK. See tour dates on timvine. com
He has appeared regularly at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, with shows such as "The Tim Vine Shambles", and "The Tim Vine Fiasco" which won him the perrier newcomer award in 1995. The Edinburgh Fringe (officially the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, commonly just The Fringe) is the world’s largest Arts festival. In 2006, he had a large advertising hoarding erected featuring his name and image, with a small sub-heading ". . . is not appearing at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival"
On television, Vine co-launched Five with Julia Bradbury on 30 March 1997 and presented the game show Whittle on the channel. Television ( TV) is a widely used Telecommunication medium for sending ( Broadcasting) and receiving moving Images, either monochromatic Julia Bradbury (born 1972 in Dublin, Ireland) is an English television presenter currently best known as a presenter (since 2005 of the BBC One Events 240 BC - 1st recorded Perihelion passage of Halley's Comet. Year 1997 ( MCMXCVII) was a Common year starting on Wednesday (link will display full 1997 Gregorian calendar Whittle was a UK Game show for Channel 5 and it is hosted by comedian Tim Vine. Vine has also presented the game show Fluke on Channel 4 Housemates on BBC 1 and later Fort Boyard Takes on the World on Challenge. Channel 4 is a public-service Television and Radio broadcaster in the United Kingdom centred around a television channel of the same name which began This article is about the fortification of Fort Boyard itself for the game show see Fort Boyard (TV series. Challenge is a British digital TV channel owned by Virgin Media Television. Vine was also one of the regular team of comedians to write for and appear in the ITV comedy series The Sketch Show, which won a BAFTA, and played the role of namesake Tim in the BBC One situation comedy Not Going Out. Independent Television (generally known as ITV) is a public service network of British commercial television broadcasters set up under the Independent Comedy (from the Greek κωμωδίαkomodia has a popular meaning (any discourse generally intended to amuse especially in Television, Film, and The Sketch Show was a British Television Sketch comedy program featuring many leading British comedians The British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA is a British charity that hosts annual awards shows for film television television craft video games and forms of animation Not Going Out is a British sitcom that has aired on BBC One since 2006 In 2005, he appeared alongside other celebrities in Spelling Bee, shown on ITV1. Year 2005 ( MMV) was a Common year starting on Saturday (link displays full calendar of the Gregorian calendar. This article deals with the ITV1 brand name as it is broadcast at present Tim appeared as a contestant on Comic Relief does Fame Academy on the BBC in 2007. Comic Relief Does Fame Academy is a spin-off of the original Fame Academy show where celebrities (students sing as students of the Academy He was voted out on Friday 9 March. Events 590 - Bahram Chobin is crowned as king Barham VI of Persia. He appeared at the Spring Harvest festival in 2007 and 2008 alongside John Archer at Skegness and Minehead, and at the Shepherd's Bush Empire in May 2007 for a show entitled Tim Vine, Live in Concrete. The Shepherds Bush Empire (the first word is sometimes spelled Shepherd's) is a music venue in Shepherd's Bush, in the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham In September 2007, Vine appeared with his brother Jeremy on the celebrity version of ITV1's Who Wants to be a Millionaire where they raised £1000 for the Fire Services National Benevolent Fund. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? is a Television Game show which offers very large Cash prizes for correctly answering successive multiple-choice
On radio, in 2002 he made a guest-appearance as himself on The Griff Rhys Jones Show on BBC Radio 2. Radio is the transmission of signals by Modulation of electromagnetic waves with frequencies below those of visible Light.
His musical talent, aside from the comedy songs in his act, includes playing the guitar, piano, and drums, and he has released an album of non-comedy songs, which can be bought at pretendpopstar. The guitar is a Musical instrument with ancient roots that is used in a wide variety of musical styles The piano is a Musical instrument played by means of a keyboard that produces sound by striking steel strings with Felt covered hammers A drum kit (also drum set or trap set) is a collection of Drums Cymbals and sometimes other Percussion instruments such as cowbells co. uk Vine is a Christian and occasionally plays the drums at his church. A Christian is a person who adheres to Christianity, a monotheistic Religion centered on the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth The drum is a member of the percussion group technically classified as a Membranophone. He was in several bands, including The Flared Generation with brother Jeremy Vine. Jeremy Vine (born May 17, 1965, Epsom, Surrey) is a British current affairs Presenter for Radio Both Tim and Jeremy Vine were educated at Epsom College in Surrey. Epsom College is a co-educational Public School in Epsom, Surrey, England for 13 pupils aged 18
In December 2007, Vine launched his first podcast, 'Tim Vine Celebrates'[1]. A podcast is a series of audio or Video digital-media files which is distributed over the Internet by syndicated Download The first episode Tim Vine Celebrates... Christmas was released for free on 19th December.
The late Bob Monkhouse said of Tim, "he has taken the trick of word play and extended it to lengths no-one has ever dared before. A very funny man indeed. "
Tim has recently featured on "Hersheys Half Hour" on Play Radio UK (23. 3. 08)
Contents |
Jokes
Many of Vine's jokes have been falsely attributed to Tommy Cooper[2]; the West End show about Tommy Cooper actually features some of Vine's jokes. Tommy Cooper ( 19 March 1921 &ndash 15 April 1984) was an Anglo-Welsh Prop comedian and magician. The West End of London is an area of Central London, England, containing many of the city's major tourist attractions businesses headquarters and the commercial
Note that these jokes are intended to be heard, rather than read.
- Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, "This is unusual". Then the dentist said to me, "Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet". A filing cabinet (or file cabinet in the United States) is a piece of office equipment that is useful for temporary and permanent storage
- I was reading this book, 'The History of Glue'. I couldn't put it down.
- I got a job as the Duke of Edinburgh's hairdresser. The Duke of Edinburgh is a Dukedom associated with Edinburgh, Scotland. The other day I parked outside Buckingham Palace and a policeman came up to me and said "have you got a permit?" And I said, "no, I've just got to take a bit off the back". Buckingham Palace is the official London residence of the British monarch. A police officer (also known as a policeman or policewoman) is a warranted employee of a Police force.
- The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. Plasticine, a brand of Modelling clay, is a Putty -like modelling material made from Calcium salts Petroleum jelly and aliphatic acids Types of theatres See main article - Stage (theatre Arena / Stadium: The playing area is in the center of a large open space which I didn't know what to make of it.
- Exit signs. They're on the way out, aren't they?
- When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion. Precious Metal is the eighteenth episode in the of the popular American Crime drama, which is set in Las Vegas, Nevada.
- So I went to the doctor and he said, "You've got hypochondria. Hypochondriasis (or hypochondria, sometimes referred to as health phobia) refers to an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness " I said, "Not that as well!" (Tim Vine live DVD).
- Velcro, what a rip-off. . .
- I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his heart out. I said "Do you recognise the tune?" He said "No, I recognise the ivory"
- I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought - he's trying to pull a fast one
- You invented Tippex. . . Correct me if I'm wrong
- Did you know all male tennis players are witches? For example Goran.. Even-he's-a-witch
- I was in Tescos, and saw this man and woman wrapped in a bar code. Goran Šimun Ivanišević ( ɡǒran iʋanǐːʃɛʋiʨ born in Split, Croatia, Yugoslavia on September 13 1971 is a former professional Tennis I said "Are you two an item?"
- A lorryload of tortoises crashed into a train full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
- I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel
- I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
- Did you know if a stick insect lays it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets?
- I went into a shop and said, "Can someone sell me a kettle. " The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Ok, where is he?"
- So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is. "
- So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job. "
- So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" He said "You're closest"
- I used to live in a teapot. I know what you're thinking 'Pour You'
- Advent Calenders, Their days are numbered.
- I was working in a library and bloke came and asked if i had a bookmark. i said: 'War and Peace, 3/10'
- I was working in a library and bloke came and asked if i had a bookmark. i said: 'see that there. . . . made by a bible. '
- I was working in a library and bloke came and asked if i had a bookmark. i said: ' if your referring to the thing bit of card you put in book to remember where you are. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . no. '
- So this bloke came up to me and said 'I've just dropped my scrabble set on the pavement'. I said 'Really? What's the word on the street?'
- If you have an islamic dog. Muzzl'im
- I went to a Party dressed as Sodium Chloride. Someone threw Hydrochloric Acid over me. I didn't know how to react.
- Atleast its comfortable on Eurostar. It's murder on the Orient Express
- I went to the doctor and said "that tastes of apples, that taste of pears, and that tastes of strawberries. He said "you've got fruit gums"
- I went down my local Gym. I said "Mr Nasium"
- I said "can you teach me how to do the splits?". He said "how flexible are you?". I said "I can't make tuesdays"
- I went down my local video store. I said "can I take out the elephant man?". He said he's not your type. I said "can I have Batman Forever?". He said you have to bring it back tomorrow. I said what about another 48 hours. He said tomorrow.
- Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
- But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite. . . . . . . . . one jar.
- I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy
- You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine. ' So that was nice.
- So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".
- So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it. '"
- So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from. '
Books
- Sit-Down Comedy (contributor to anthology, ed Malcolm Hardee & John Fleming) Ebury Press/Random House, 2003. Malcolm Hardee (born Lewisham, London 5 January 1950 &ndash died Rotherhithe, London 31 January 2005 was an English Comedian, author Comedy ISBN-10: 0091889243; ISBN-13: 978-0091889241
References
- ^ http://itunes.com/podcast?id=270643562 Tim Vine Celebrates - iTunes feed
- ^ Tim Vine: Down the barrel of a pun, The Independent 8 March 2005. The Independent is a British compact Newspaper published by Tony O'Reilly 's Independent News & Media.
External links
- Tim Vine official website
- BBC Comedy Guide on the Sketch Show
- The British Sitcom Guide on Not Going Out
- Tim to appear on Fame Academy
Dapyx Software network: MP3 Explorer | Ebook Manager | Zenithic